i had the most ridiculous dream last night and i have to write it down before i forget it.
i was at my dad’s old townhouse in new jersey, but it acted as this public space where people could go and hang out. it was nighttime so it was only me there until my old roommates walked in with another girl. they went upstairs.
a few minutes later i heard a gun shot. apparently, one of them took a gun, we’ll call her the lamb, from my other ex-roommate, we’ll call her the lion. she was joking around with it as they were both laying on my old bed and the lamb ended up shooting the lion in the face. she died instantly.
i heard a gunshot and didn’t even think twice of it; i barely looked up from my newspaper. i saw the lamb, stunned, stumbling down the stairs covered in blood. the other girl they walked in with told her to wait in the car. eventually the other girl left. my dad came down stairs very calmly and said that someone left their phone at my house. i immediately knew that it belonged to the lion; i recognized the tacky rhinestones that she stuck on the back.
i texted the lamb from it the next day to let her know that i had it and something about condolences and said something about the new york times, which made her angry, for some reason. our relationship as friends had soured when we lived together and she was clearly still resentful.
i was back in the city and was prepared to give back the phone, but the lamb didn’t want to meet me face to face, so i left it in a public square and she picked it up.
a little bit of time passed and i was walking to class up fifth avenue, but it didn’t look like fifth. there was a giant building (kind of how the met life building cuts into park avenue at 42nd street) with french-influenced architecture. i blacked out and woke up walking around in paris with a few classmates. i didn’t feel good about it.
i’ve been to paris in real life and everything felt accurate, but this felt odd. i walked into a classroom (that felt more like a restaurant) with my classmates and they were all excited that i came; they had no idea that i had signed up for the abroad program and truthfully, neither did i. i saw the lamb in the corner, looking like she’d been crying and hadn’t eaten in days. i figured that she wanted to get away from whatever it was she had waiting back in the states and, truthfully, i didn’t blame her. she shot and killed her best friend.
i started getting really nervous in paris because i had absolutely no idea how i’d gotten there and i figured that corey and my family would be really worried about me, seeing as how it was probably already over twenty-four hours later and no one had heard from me. they had no clue (to my knowledge) that i’d fled the country.
i left the classroom/restaurant and wondered around town for a bit. everything felt familiar and safe; i’d been on that street before. an older man who i think was played by liam neeson in my dream came up to me and asked if i was okay (wait okay it was definitely liam neeson; he had the accent and everything). i realized then that i was pacing and seemed upset. i told him my situation and said that i really just want to call my boyfriend to let him know that i’m not dead. he brought me into a building and into the staircase and explained to me that the french government doesn’t like us making calls to the united states, especially anywhere near new york. he handed me a darth vader mask and told me to speak into the phone with it so the government wouldn’t be able to track my voice. i didn’t question it at all and called my boyfriend with the mask on and tried to convince him that i wasn’t being held by star wars-obsessed terrorists and that i just blacked out and went to paris.
later, someone offered to drive me home (obviously this didn’t work) in their car. the drive felt familiar. i ended up in spain. it smelled like olive trees and i woke up.